Today’s topic may be a bit off the mark, but I told you from the get go that I would write about whatever is on my mind at the time, so consider yourself warned 🙂
I’ve been thinking a lot about my dad these last few weeks. He passed away two and a half years ago and I still miss him every day. I know he is with me and as hard as this may be to understand or believe – I have felt him nearby.
When he first passed away, I felt so guilty. We were never an “I love you” kind of family and although I knew he would do anything in the world for us, sometimes he really annoyed the hell out of me. Sounds terrible I know, but I suppose that falls under the infamous father/daughter relationship that all of us go through. When I finally grew up and realized who he was, I felt so blessed and I think he knew how much I loved him when he died.
A couple of months after he passed, I was in our downstairs hallway. There is a table on the left wall and on that table is a lamp that I call “the duck lamp” because the base is a ceramic mallard. The light was mainly for decoration and was hardly ever used, but this particular night as I was carrying a box for storage down the hall, the light came on just as I walked passed it. I didn’t think anything of it, but as I put the box in the backroom, shut the door and walked past the light again, it went off. I checked to see if perhaps the light was on a timer that was screwed up, but when I looked behind the table, I saw no timer. What was even scarier was the light wasn’t even plugged in! I knew right then that my Poppy was an angel, watching over us and letting us know that he was okay.
Since then there have been other subtle signs – the squeak of a car or closet door, a light flicker and one morning my computer even flicked on. But that’s okay…every sign is a gift and tells me that he is happy and “keeping the light on until we get there.”