1. Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong.
2. Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance.
3. Life is simpler when you plow around the stump.
4. A bumble bee is considerably faster than a tractor.
5. Words that soak into your ears are whispered…not yelled.
6. Meanness don’t just’ happen overnight.
7. Always drink upstream from the herd.
8. Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads.
9. Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you.
10. It doesn’t take a very big person to carry a grudge.
11. Good judgment comes from experience, and a lot of that comes from bad judgment.
12. You cannot unsay a cruel word.
13. Every path has a few puddles.
14. When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty.
15. The best sermons are lived, not preached.
16. Most of the stuff people worry about isn’t ever gonna happen anyway.
17. Don’t judge folks by their relatives.
18. Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer.
19. Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you’ll enjoy it a second time.
20. Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance.
21. Don’t interfere with something’ that isn’t bothering’ you none.
22. If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop digging’.
23. Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got.
24. The biggest troublemaker you’ll probably ever have to deal with watches you from the mirror every morning’.
25. Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin’ it back in.
26. If you think you’re a person of some influence, try ordering’ somebody else’s dog around.
27. Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.